put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
