Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
