Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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