your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
