Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
