so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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