R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
