So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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