maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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