Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
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Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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