I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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