Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
