after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
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It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize