He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
