I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize