You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
