I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
