next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
