Three words: puerto rican gang bang
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
