How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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