his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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