Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking

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  (864): i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q6i0
  Replies (17) Good night (4149) Bad night (1896)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

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  (250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti
  Replies (19) Good night (1166) Bad night (4137)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.

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  (410): i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break. http://tfl.nu/ccu2
  Replies (7) Good night (1062) Bad night (3503)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh

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  (248): I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh http://tfl.nu/l3fg
  Replies (10) Good night (1363) Bad night (3632)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.

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  (917): Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste. http://tfl.nu/mscz
  Replies (9) Good night (3615) Bad night (1832)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question

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  (303): No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question http://tfl.nu/r4al
  Replies (7) Good night (3328) Bad night (1115)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.

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  (615): It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying. http://tfl.nu/pvsa
  Replies (8) Good night (1424) Bad night (1991)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.

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  (201): We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home. http://tfl.nu/pssh
  Replies (35) Good night (2436) Bad night (1465)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl

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  (314): The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl http://tfl.nu/c78c
  Replies (6) Good night (1040) Bad night (1600)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.

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  (803): I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver. http://tfl.nu/862b
  Replies (1) Good night (1654) Bad night (688)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.

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  (847): Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron. http://tfl.nu/1d6g
  Replies (14) Good night (916) Bad night (2720)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.

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  (502): He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on. http://tfl.nu/ri58
  Replies (7) Good night (1289) Bad night (629)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.

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  (973): The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave. http://tfl.nu/0jfg
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (649)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  make it buy you a drink first

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  (302): my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor (412): make it buy you a drink first http://tfl.nu/jxuy
  Replies (1) Good night (876) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home

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  (513): and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home http://tfl.nu/u8sr
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (248)

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