how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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