guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.