Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
