bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Boobs are out for the taking
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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