I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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