when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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