It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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