i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize