Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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