I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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