like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
