My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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