I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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