I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
