she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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