i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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