like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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