finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
