Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
