I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
