I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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