The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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