trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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