fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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