She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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