Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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