What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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