your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
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OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
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Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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