i don't like sucking hair
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
