I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
