no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
