Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
