I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize