maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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