i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
