I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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