i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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