I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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