the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
