U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do vagina's smell?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
