Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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