This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
