We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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