I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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